BLAME GAME

Sandhya was thrilled. Finally she had met the man of her dreams! Ramesh was the knight she was waiting for. His talk was so mature. He seemed very sensitive & understanding. His SMILE- charming. She was on cloud nine. Life was giving her a second chance & how!

Ramesh too was happy. Sandhya was very simple. A gold medallist and she had no airs about herself! His requirement was a companion & she agreed. Life couldn't have been kinder he thought.

Ramesh and Sandhya were to get married soon. Sandhya's parents were thrilled because it was over 4 years that Sandhya was out of a torture called marriage & they had given up hopes of getting her married again. Ramesh was God sent is all they kept saying. Ramesh had even told them the wedding needs to be very simple & in a temple.

The day of the marriage arrived. Sandhya blushed & was glowing like a typical bride, while Ramesh was all smiles & happy. In fact he gifted the bride a diamond set & it made Sandhya dazzle. Everyone was happy.

After marriage Sandhya went to Delhi where Ramesh had set up his home. There was a cook who got everything ready for them & all Sandhya did was RELAX & visit relatives.

A few months later, Sandhya visited the house of a friend of Ramesh. It was a dinner hosted by the friend for the newly weds. Sandhya looked beautiful. She met up the daughter of the host- Valli & the two got along very well. Valli and Sandhya were of the same age. After talking to Sandhya there was only one thing, which puzzled Valli. She was curious to know how and why Sandhya had agreed to marry Ramesh. Ramesh and Sandhya had an age gap of over 19 years. Wasn't that too much? For someone educated and mature like Sandhya wasn't this a folly? That too when it was a second marriage for both! Valli however did not venture to ask the question.

Through the course of the conversation though Valli got the reply to her question when Sandhya remarked, "You know life is a lot different when the age gap between the husband and wife is more than 19years. Valli did not want to be judgmental, as she did not understand the undertone of the statement. The dinner however was the bonding point between Sandhya & Valli. They continued to keep in touch.

Soon Ramesh was also subject of discussion. Sandhya once burst into tears saying that she regretted her decision to marry Ramesh. He is so different from the Ramesh who met her at least four times before marriage. She said her mother thought so too. Ramesh was a disciplined man and had a routine of going for golf. Sandhya was always a late riser.

He wanted her to change. When Sandhya wanted to hold his hand in public he thought that it was being childish.

When Sandhya was visiting her relatives he sent her the car & the driver, promising to pick her up in the evening but always the driver was sent. Ramesh would be at home when Sandhya reached. He could have gone but just didn't want to. He somehow did not want to bond with her people. This seemed odd to Sandhya. She tried to tell him many a time but he never listened.

The cook had been sent off & Sandhya had started cooking. On days like this however Sandhya would be too upset to cook. This irritated Ramesh. They argued many a time about small things. When Sandhya visited her native place, Ramesh felt her visits were getting too frequent. The last straw however was a family get together in Sandhya's ancestral home. Sandhya was excited. It was a special occasion too for an old temple of their family deity was being renovated & the whole family close & distant had all decided to meet. Sandhya was all set when Ramesh said he wouldn't go along. Sandhya spoke to Valli for the last time that day as Valli was going back to Mumbai. Valli had called up to say bye to Sandhya & casually while talking Sandhya said that she would be going to her native place. Valli asked her when she would return, when Sandhya said, "I'm coming back only if Ramesh comes to pick me up." A few months later, Valli heard that Sandhya & Ramesh had filed for a divorce!

It was hardly three months since their marriage. Who is to blame? Mature individuals they knew what they were getting into. Was this wedding necessary at all? Ironically though, Sandhya was a gold medallist in psychology! Life after marriage calls for a lot of understanding. Age is not the only factor that determines the success of a marriage. Adjustments, understanding, mutual trust, respect and little compromises go a long way in helping to keep a marriage intact. The effort however should be on both sides. Otherwise it only ends up as a blame game with no one ready to own responsibility.

IS IT WORTH THE MENTAL TRAUMA? DEFINITELY NO!