JUST CHILL!
I always wonder how kids are so happy! They forget so easily & enjoy every moment of what life gives them. We have all been kids once. But then... Don't know when all the stress starts creeping into us & we stop laughing & start worrying! Maybe the boards! no much before that it is the pressure to do well in the tests, To be captain of your house,To be part of the team games, to be part of the play in the Annual day..... When did it first start.
When my son's best friend won the individual championship he congratulated him & was so proud that his friend won it, though he missed it. I was happy that my son was a good friend and a nice human being. I was proud of him.
But thinking back i don't think I was very proud when my best friend won an award I was so sure to win, when we were leaving school.I thought maybe her mother a teacher in our school influenced the decision of the teachers. I know I was mean. She deserved it & so she won. My mother however baked a cake for her , called her home & had a surprise party for her.My friend was thrilled! It was my unforgettable lesson on learning to accept defeat gracefully.Amma taught me that it is important that I fought well.The winner is not important.
An important lesson that has helped me in life all along.
I realised that it is not the award that is important but that she is a friend with whom I had my best moments in school.
Life has given me many ups & downs & I have learnt to be unaffected by them. I know that in the journey we take ,this is very important in shaping our personalties. Maybe somewhere it is the award that is important but when you get it you realise that is not exactly what you thought you would feel like. The journey to getting it is more memorable than the award itself. You miss out on wonderful time when you fret & fume.
Why can't we be like kids always? Why is victory so important? Is is worth all the trauma we go through? We had much lesser complications in our growing up years. Our parents were not as competitive as we are to see our children win. Then the competition were ones we developed much later in school life which were healthy but today even in the first grade kids are sent for tution. Come on, isn't it torture? 10th ,11th 12th I understand,but first grade...too much!
What do we want our next gen to be? We had a carefree childhood! The other day when I had gone to pick up my kids I cudn't but help listen to a conversation between two mothers on how their kids had fared in a test.One telling the other that her son had 191/2 in a test out of 20 because of a "EE ki mathra" & the other one proudly saying, "my son got 20 in all papers. I send him to hindi tution classes you see.I make him study for 1 hour everyday." Curious I asked them in which class their kids were studying. Their reply was 1st grade. I didn't know whether I am a bad mother 'coz most of the time I don't make my kids study for that long... I prefer they play outside instead. Everyday 1/2 hour of concentrated study is what I ask of them & they are ok in studies.
Honestly I wonder what childhood today's kids would have to think back on, Juggling between so many classes & still expected to be toppers in class..., Summer holidays filled with so many different camps instead of a carefree 60 days we had as kids... Tutions from class one itself! School is a place kids hate to go to. Parents have so much of expectations from the kids. They expect them to be allrounders.
The suicide rates of students waiting for the bord results are a pointer to the high stress levels of today's kids.After all, all successful people in life have not been toppers in school but they overcame defeat boldly!
What are we aiming at? Stressed out adults who are so tired fighting that they are jaded by the time they step into the 'real' world OR confident adults who can face defeat & know that it is an integral part of the game!
If it is the latter we chose then i think we,should "JUST CHILL!"
posted by Unknown @ 2:39 AM
20 Comments:
yea, tell me about it! It's an attitude - feeling cool even if u lose. It's all comparitive I guess...
reading your title I remembered the song "just chill" from Salman Khan movie. The song's so cheesy, but fun!
Wonderful Post !!
Kids of the modern day, lose thier childhood in seach of the ranks. They get lessons, but miss education.
They get the books, which strengthen their muscle, do much little to the brain.
They get to compare marks, without growing their thinking and thought process.
I guess you are doing a great thing by allowing your kids to be themselves. Am sure they arent going to lose out anything. Infact, they would have grown so much in thier minds, that they will stomp out the short sighted competition. If at all, it comes to that !!
Really liked your post !!
Hey! I loved your post!!
I wonder what kind of a mommy wil I become, But will definately try to take lessons from this post of urs.
Raising a toast to u!
Cheers!
Naturally we have it to give each other space ,but then something changes & ....it's never the same again. Yes rads! There is a popular salman number which is quite catchy.
Amen to whatever you said Kavi! And you sure are great with Words. Is that where your name comes from?
Thanx Neha! I'm sure you 'll turn out to be a great mom urself!Healthy competition is what we need to encourage!
Rashmi.
i think its parents who inevitably set the ball rolling for the children. children absorb what they see around them.. and inevitably the results show much later.. 'its important to have an end to journey to, but in the end its the journey that matters'... cant rem where i read it, but has stuck with me.
I wish this person I know could read this post...she really needs to see this. Cos she's not chilling and it's taking the toll on me!
Keshi.
True Baliga! Well said!
Then make sure she reads it Keshi! All the best!
Rashmi.
lovely piece. the lesson is definitely important one to teach the kids & also to us adults. may be we were more innocent in our school days but the moment we become adults- rat race/ back stab/ dog eat dog worlds.. & other such words start featuring in our mindscape
I really agree- we have no time to stand and stare do we?...BTW like your choice of visuals a lot
It's all in the mind.One must learn to draw the line between expectation and encouragement.
Wow! nice write up. To tell you the truth, I was planning to write on this sometime soon, I will write about it some time soon. But you have written of most of the things that I had thought of :)
Thanks for swinging by my blog. Hope to see around more often :)
i wanna go back to school!!! :( or may be not... :) chill out right here!
heyyy, thanks!! it did pass.. or is on the way of passing... :)
it is sad rashmi,
i agree today A child is stressed out by his own parents.
some close friend came back home to find her son had committed suicide because he had fared bad in his peper that day...
let all parents wake up and understand there is more to life then mere running after grades.
why cannot we get this competition(negative one ) out of our head .......
a good eye opener post, rashmi
keep writing.
@ITW- True indeed!
Thanx for dropping artnavy & yes its hightime we wake up!
Well said HG!
What prompted me to write this KK was a visit to PizzaHut on a Sunday evening! Next to our table was this family of 3. While the mother 7 father were talking the kid maybe 6 was busy doing a test with her mother reading out the questions!
Of ur present is fine Great! Afterall Neers, happiness is a state of mind U C!
True passerby, I've seen it happen too. We need to understand life is not our school grades , but how we make the most of each day!
Hi Rashmi, lovely post. I share the same feelings with you. But children these days have already learnt the art of relaxation. They aren't so competitive as a species and have developed an innate attitude to ward off stress!
Heya! good post! There is so much information explosion these days that kids learn fast, what is really bothering is they are forgetting the essence of good virtues and how to interact with people as they are confined with the four wall of the room and the single video game monitor. it doesnt matter if kids arent academically bright, for what matters as you say is the quest to suceed and fight against all odds! Very true and a great post once again!
Rashmi still chilling? :)
Keshi.
Rashmi,
I am glad that there are like minded people. When we were in India, the child was pressurised on seeing the other children. When my son was into his primary class, the teacher was stunned by my request to not force anything on my child and she can evaluate him as she likes. The reason for this was I saw a mother arguing with the teacher for not having given her child 10/10 in reciting rhymes since he used to recite it so well at home and the teacher had given only 9/10 which did not allow her child to become number one in the class. She did not understand that the child can vary his ways while reciting at home and school. Also, she thought that her child should be first in class from his primary. I could only laugh on that day. Also, I felt that the kids were pressurised to write till 100,when there fingers were not even ready to hold the pencil. When I took up this issue with the head mistress, she said that while my child will be writing 1-100 in first class other children will be writing 1-500 if my child was allowed to be slow according to my wish. She also said that my child will develop a complex at that stage. On hearing all that, we removed our child from that school and put him in a school where there was no compulsion, and pressure and children were allowed to be children. The school was started exclusively for this kind of education and later the parents in that school also started demanding for more competition. So, it is the society and I do not think it will change immediately. The parents want to fulfil their ambitions, and want their children to achieve what they could not achieve themselves. This is very pathetic. Thank god we do not have any pressure here.
Well Swahilya, some kids have learnt it while some others do not have the TIME!
Thanx Indianangel,glad u liked it!
U r right, Video & computer games r what keep them occupied & parents are glad the kid is happy!But are they, is the question we need to ponder ?
True ,love & support is what parents are running short of?!
Sorry Keshi dear! was plain lazy!
That's how Balaji, now there are a lot of innovative schools in India for this simple reason!
Loved ur conclusion Tanushree!
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