Seven Stages of a Woman

A man came up to a lady in a shopping mall with a real worried expression.

“Can we speak for a few moments please?” he asked. “Why?” She asked surprised. “My wife is missing and I know she ‘ll appear from nowhere the moment she sees me talking to a beautiful woman!”

Shakespeare has spoken about the 7 stages of man. Little did he know that centuries down the line there would be a day called Women’s day! So why not explore our seven stages? Put on your thinking caps, caps of imagination, creativity and humor, sit back and relax. I know, we women have a very good sense of humor and can laugh at ourselves. So no offence meant, keep your mind open & I assure you you’re going to have a whale of a time!

The seven stages are: Infant, Child, Adolescence, Young lady, Young lady, Young lady And Young Lady.

Now let us explore each stage!!!

The first stage is that of an Infant. The baby girl, the apple of everyone at home esp. the father. With dresses galore in the marketplace she gets to enjoy everyone of them. Backless, sleeveless, off shoulder, smocking, frilly ones, long or short, SIZE DOES NOT MATTER. The best phase for both the child & parents.

Next is that of a Child. Carefree, Confident and shy, sweet, lovely to talk to, she slowly starts to try & understand the world around her. Parents try speaking in code in front of her & she is smart to understand. Like this kid. Her parents were busy discussing the previous night’s dinner. Mama said, “I’m actually impressed with the Mehtas what an educated couple? The wife has a MA from BU while the husband a PhD from MIT.” Angrily their 5 yr old drops her fork. “What’s wrong dear?” asks Mama. With a frown the child replies, “You’re always spelling and I never know what you’re talking!!!!!!!!!!” A cute innocent phase when every area is questioned & answers have to be given.

Third the phase of adolescence. Growing up blooming beautifully becoming aware of herself. Friends play a very important role. This continues till she is through school & college. Life gives her opportunities to understand why she is different & what makes her beautiful. As they say, small children spoil a day’s sleep; big children spoil life’s sleep. This is that phase for parents. Here, SIZE DOES MATTER. Size of the dress is what I mean.

Next is the young lady, someone for whom everything in life is seen thru a shade of romance, Life is lovely & so are her dreams. Nothing can stop her from achieving them; here comes the awareness of the TALL, DARK & HANDSOME Prince waiting to carry her off in his horse to distant lands where she will have only happiness. She dreams of sinking into his arms & living happily ever after.

The next phase is when this young lady decides SHE WILL GROW ONLY YOUNGER HENCEFORTH.

She decides that her prince should not only be Tall, Dark & Handsome but also have MONEY. She finds one such but …BUT instead of sinking into his arms after marriage she ends up with HER ARMS IN THE SINK.

REALITY DAWNS.
Then comes the phase with children. Her first shock in life comes when she hears ‘AUNTY’ a word used for HER by kids or just about anybody maybe even 5-6years younger AND SOMETIMES OLDER. A shock she cannot accept but is forced to soon. I remember this lady who got into a crowded bus sometime in the evening hours. Dressed in a sleeveless blouse she looked easily in her late forties with lots of grey hair. It was evening time & there were a lot of school children in too. An 8 year old wanting to excuse herself said, “SOLPA JAGA BIDU AJJI” & suddenly this lady was furious. She got her energy from nowhere & said; “YAARE AJJI?” The whole bus fell silent.

I KNEW EXACTLY HOW SHE FELT.

I TOLD YOU WE DON’T LIKE BEING CALLED OLD.

The next phase of this young lady is when children get married.

There was this lady who had got both her son & daughter married around the same time. Once her friend visited her & asked her how her daughter was .Her face lit up & she very proudly said. “A successful man is he who can earn more than his wife can spend & a successful woman who can find such a man. My daughter has found such a man. I just can’t speak to her, She’s out in the club on Mondays, Busy in the parlour on Tuesdays, They go out for drives on Wednesdays, Movies on Thursdays and long drives on Fridays; Saturday & Sunday out again. They invariably are never home ALWAYS ENJOYING LIFE.”

“Lovely! How is your daughter in law?” “Oh! Don’t ask she is never at home. I never meet her! Very irresponsible!! Really! She goes to the club on Monday, every Tuesday I don’t know what she does in the parlour Wednesday is their day for drives, I don’t understand where they go every week! Thursday is when they go for movies she can’t waste money like this you see & longer drives on Friday. Saturdays & Sundays they are never at home. I’m actually upset with her. I think people are right when they say:

A daughter is a daughter for life, a son, a son till he gets his wife!

The last and final Phase is the most interesting and challenging. The phase of rediscovery!

Rediscovering the youth in her obviously. Children have gone their way & grandchildren are finding theirs. Suddenly, grey hair disappears. No, No not from the scalp they only change colour! They turn black! Smiles look better than they were all along (let me share the secret, Artificial dentures makes all the difference!) A phase when time is available aplenty but physically she can’t cope up with all she wants to do. STILL she tries & determined that she is, manages to do most of what she wants. After all nature has ordained her with a great amount of emotional strength. She achieves all her dreams or at least tries to. Here all she does is only to please HERSELF & for HER satisfaction. For as they rightly say, AGE IS ALL IN THE MIND.

The different stages of a lady’s requirement of her man is beautifully summed in this quote:

At 17- all she wants from a man is that he should be- Tall, Dark & Handsome.

At 25- Tall, Dark, Handsome with Money

At 35- Tall, Dark, Handsome with money & brains. (VERY DIFFICULT!)
At 50- A man with hair

At 70- JUST A MAN.

Can You Believe It?

Geetha was crying, totally upset! I stopped to ask her what had happened!"Do fairy godmothers exist?" she asked. "But why?" I asked surprised! "Chetana just told me that I was a fool to believe that Fairy Godmothers exist!" she burst out. I always believed we have our Fairy Godmothers. Today research says don't bring up children in the fairy tale concept because, life is never a fairytale. Reality is too harsh for them later in life! As a little girl, I always loved to believe my fairy Godmother was there for me, the thought itself reassured me many a time! But, eight-year-old Geetha's question put me in a fix! What do I tell her? I diverted her mind talking about her dolls & her friends & took her inside the house. Her question however definitely was nagging me!!!

A call from my friend Uma and I forgot about my fairy Godmother. We were talking after so long and she had so much to tell me. She casually mentioned Asma our friend now settled in the U.S. I remember I had met Asma years ago.

A confident girl, I liked her instantly. Uma later had told me her story. A refugee from Pakistan, she had come with her father, sister and brother years ago to Delhi. She was the eldest and automatically took the place of her mother who they had lost by then. Her responsibility was doubly increased as her father was mentally disturbed and it started affecting his medical practice. Relatives stepped in. The anchor however continued to be Asma! Soon she had to take care of her dad too. Her brother and sister were sent to study. Asma started trying to read whatever she could lay her hands on with the help of her siblings.

Years flew past. Privately she wrote her 10th and 12th exams and scored well too! Soon she had the confidence to enter college. Her life was a little secret she kept within herself! Managing her home, monitoring her sister and brother became her prime concern and added to that was her dad who needed total care. She did it all with a smile. Soon marriage proposals came in. She got her sister married to an eligible bachelor from a good family.

Her responsibility reduced, she wanted to study further. She applied for a course in law. Her marks got her an admission. Her brother by now got a good job with an MNC and monetary problems reduced tremendously. Soon she wanted to see her brother married. He insisted that she be married first.

Most of the proposals fizzled when she insisted that her father should stay with her, as he needed constant care. One of the boys was ready, and things looked bright but his family stood against his decision at the last moment and it did not fall through. Her world came crashing down, as she really had liked the boy. Bitter about marriage, she was sure now she would not want to marry. She insisted her brother marry Sarah, the girl he loved. The marriage took place and Asma was glad that in Sarah she got a good friend. Soon her brother got a good offer in the U.S. and she insisted he take it.

He heeded her advice and left. Attending to her father, her life continued. She decided to take competitive exams. That's where she met Uma and they got along very well. Soon they became fast friends and she shared her life's secrets. They came home together once & her confidence was what struck me. Neither the loner that she was nor her tragedy had any reflection in her attitude. Soon her father expired and her brother insisted she move to the U.S. She went there for a holiday.

Soon the WTC tragedy struck & to stay longer she had to write exams, which she did. She took up a job and her visa status changed. She now worked with a company where she had to sell through the net. One of customers soon wrote her about some problem she had and Asma promptly wrote back about solving it. The lady happened to be an Indian and they corresponded regularly. They decided to meet.

The meeting was a formality for they had already known each other, but what surprised them was that they were Muslims from the same sect. This lady had a brother who was a doctor. Asma fit the bill for the girl they were looking for. Asma's brother and sister were excited for their sister. She however decided to take it with a pinch of salt. Once they met however, she liked him. She could not believe what was happening. Finally she met her prince charming. They were married and she lived happily ever after.

A sentence with which most fairy tales end. Life definitely can be one too. The hardships Asma went through were destiny. Her fairy godmother definitely was overseeing her. When Uma finished her story I smiled.
I knew what to tell little Geetha.
Fairy Godmothers do exist. They however come in human form today!
Can you believe it?

Talk To me

Every night after the kitchen work is over, standing in the balcony & enjoying the breeze is what I love doing. The kids tucked in bed and fast asleep what I enjoy most is my watchman and his wife conversing. They do this every night and I realize that maybe that is what has helped bond them better even after 32 years of marriage.

Asha had everything a girl could dream of. Just when she finished college she got married to Rajesh a tall, handsome & upcoming businessman. Nothing could go wrong for it was exactly what Asha wanted. To be a homemaker and have a good bank balance. Life was perfect.

Anshul was born a year later & then followed Shruthi. Rajesh's business too was growing. Asha was not complaining. Her hands were full with the kids. Soon it was school time. Getting up, getting the kids ready, then dropping them off at school. The maid would help around till Asha finished her cooking. Then Asha was free to rest for sometime before the kids would come back. Her world revolved around the kids & what they did.

What Asha never realized however was that she was having no time for Rajesh. Their lives were growing mechanical. There was absolutely no communication between the two other than the routine stuff. It was a long time since they had made love to each other. They were so busy that they never realized that this day would even come!

Rajesh had filed for a divorce! Asha was upset! She cried to me over the telephone & wanted to come over to ask me what she should do. I listened to her story. One thing was clear they had completely lost touch with each other! Rajesh was busy in building his business & Asha was lost with her kids. Rajesh would return home late & then would want to tell Asha what happened but she would be dozing off on the table all tired with the day's work and had to get up early in the morning to get the kids ready.

By the time she would drop the kids & get back, Rajesh would have left! Where was communication between the two? I pointed it to her and only then she realized how long it was since the two of them actually had a decent conversation. We had gone for a long walk after dinner discussing this and when we returned, the watchman and his wife were conversing. Asha stood there stunned! The watchman was dumb... but his wife was able to understand every finger movement and giving her opinion on some neighbour they were talking about.

Not an important topic but it made Asha realize how important communication with your partner was. She definitely did her duty as a mother. Full marks to her! But as a wife I asked how would she rate herself and that set her thinking. She remembered how many a time Rajesh would start something & she would immediately cut him short or ignore because she was tired. She understood now where the fault lay.

She went home a changed person - happy! A few days later she called to say that she and Rajesh are going for a business cum pleasure trip. " The kids", I asked surprised. "Mamma's going to take care of them for 15 days. I have a big baby to look after!" she giggled.

Another usual night I am in the balcony, watching the watchman and his wife and they do not know how they changed my friend's life.

You Are A Special Star

You Are A Special Star

I was excited; I was to meet Preethi after twelve years. I was wondering what to give her as a gift. Having time on hand I decided to clean my cupboard. While cleaning my shelf, I found a poem. It was a poem that made a lot of sense and had hope as its basic sentiment .I liked it when I read it years ago. Titled "GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOU", it touched me and I had decided to preserve it! Along with it was a group photograph of my batch mates in a special class I had joined. Preethi was next to me in the snap, smiling.

Preethi was a girl I noticed the very first day I joined the special classes. There was something about her smile or maybe her eyes that made me notice her in the class as soon as I entered. I joined late and so had to find my friends since groups had already been formed. Everyone was cordial and soon I got to know most of the students. Preethi still was someone I did not know.

Soon we were divided according to our choice of subjects chosen. Preethi and I were in the same group. Casually my friend asked Preethi what she was doing and she said she was married with two kids! We were shocked!On enquiring about her husband she told us he was an architect. Casual talk and we knew a little more about Preethi. We started interacting more in the class & soon were comfortable with each other.

One day Preethi told me she would like to come home to do combine studies with me as she was taking the subject after a break & I was studying it then in college. I readily agreed. She was quick to pick up little details & we had very short breaks. We religiously were finishing up portions of our assignments and were happy. On one occasion while having lunch I asked her who is her favourite actor. "Amitabh" she said. " So which one was your last movie?" I asked casually. That's it! I saw tears well up her eyes and was wondering what was wrong with my question. I told her I was sorry. She was crying by now! I told her, " We'll continue the studies tomorrow if you are feeling unwell!" What she told me however shocked me totally!

" Amitabh is Suresh, my husband's favourite actor too. I've seen all his movies with him. Suresh was the best thing that happened to me. Ours was an arranged marriage & he was a very successful architect in Mysore. Soon after my graduation I got married. It was like a dream come true. He was everything I dreamt of in a husband. Meghna came two years after our wedding, Chetna three years later. He was thrilled as he really loved girls & wanted only daughters. His was a family full of boys so everyone was happy. Life was perfect!

"Suresh drove from Mysore to Bangalore to see Chetna and after a few days had to rush back. He carried most of our clothes and said he would be back a month later to take us along. A crying Meghna let go of him only when he promised her dolls & toys when we went back to Mysore. He had come with his brothers and a cousin. They left in the morning. By afternoon the phone rang I picked it up with a smile knowing it would be Suresh. It was his brother instead. The news was bad! Suresh was serious! Only Suresh was injured so seriously."

"We hurried to Mysore and heard what we did not want to hear! Suresh was no more! My world came crashing down. What do I do with my two girls? My in-laws suddenly behaved indifferently & refused anything to me. Suresh had told me he'd transfer everything to my name this time. Life however had different plans! I came to live with my parents."

With a sister to be married, Preethi felt guilty to be a burden on her parents and wanted to become someone She joined the classes & this she did after she gathered herself after three years of the tragedy.

God! No one had moved me this much. Shell shocked at her determination I only tried my best to give her all the books I could get from my library. I visited her house once and she showed her wedding album. She looked radiant! When I commented, she smiled and told me that she was her college beauty queen. I was not surprised. She was really beautiful. She was now a poor reflection of what she was at the time of her marriage physically but mentally I knew she was really tough.

Circumstances changed I moved out of Bangalore & we continued to be in touch occasionally! Soon her brother and sister got married! We lost touch. Preethi however remained in my mind. I was wondering what had happened to her. After about four years I met a common friend & she told me on enquiring that Preethi was with the police service. I was thrilled!

She told me that I would never recognize Preethi if I met her now. She is confident & nowhere close to how she was during the classes. I was eager to meet her. I got her number & spoke to her. It felt really good! Her parents were now staying with her and kids grown up. She definitely sounded confident. I was really thrilled for her. We decided to meet sometime when it was mutually convenient.

I knew what to give Preethi. Preethi read it and her eyes welled up. This is what the poem said.

Awaiting the Rebel- Aamir Khan.

Aamir Khan has always shown why he is "different". Inspite of sarcastic comments from the industry, he has worked his way & proved more than once why even today he is a star to reckon with!

I've always liked his movies because when you leave the theatre after watching his films it is the character that remains with you and not the star who acted.

Unlike some superstars who stick to a particular name for sentimental purpose ,here is an actor who works with a passion that is so obvious and you know you are watching a sincere work while watching his films!

The list is an impressive: Sarfarosh, Dil chahata hai, Lagaan, Ishq, Rangeela, Raja Hindustani, Rangeela, Dil hai ki manta nahi, Hum hai rahi Pyaar ke, Ghulam, Dil, QSQT. All hits !
Whether it was Holi, Rakh , Andaz Apna Apna or Earth he has does justice to all his roles.

At a time when people in the industry do things- positive or negative -to stay in public view, Here is someone who is returning after 4 years and still managed to take maximum media space! Isn't it proof enough that QUALITY DEFINITELY RULES OVER QUANTITY!!!???